I don't know, to be honest. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster week. I've had these brilliant highs where I feel like I can do anything but then I get into these lows where I feel like I'm ready to pack it in and say two fingers to the world, I'm out of here.
I went home for the weekend. It was ok. The highlights were that my dad got me a new phone which is absolutely brilliant. It's a chinese make. It's tiny and it's got a strap so I can wear it like a watch =P it made me happy. and we went to harvesters for a meal. the down points were seeing my family. spending time with my family. oh, and going home. and now my mother has decided that she will have her birthday do the weekend I was gonna have a house party for my own birthday at university. and she refuses to change the date. so I've had to change my plans. aint she lovely! I'd already made my plans before she fucking decided yet I'm the one who has to change everything. asking her to plan it around my own plans would just be asking too much now, wouldn't it?
S... he's been there a bit. I've had a few rants around him. and we had an amazing - and I mean AMAZING - night recently. Apparently, I look like a goddess. Who'd have thought that? I certainly didn't! But who am I to complain, eh? =P that cheered me up. And while we were enjoying each others' company, as it were, he had this look in his eye that I hadn't seen before and it kinda scared me a little, to be honest. I don't know what to make of it. It just confused me. And I have no clue what it meant. But it doesn't matter. It was a good night =P
I've been going out a little this week. But I've spent a long time by myself in my room which hasn't been ideal. I've had these thoughts going through my head and don't know what to make of them, either. I'm just lost. I can't decide what I want. I don't know what's going on with my friends or my family or anything. And it's infuriating at times. I've spent too long in my own company now. I need to be around people but eveyone has their own plans and I can't be the person to invite myself along. It's just not me.
Anyway, there's not really a lot to talk about. I got sexy new glasses. I look good. =P
Anyway, I'm going to go get the bus back to mine and spend yet more time alone. Fun times! I'm gonna see if S is busy. I could do with company tonight. And no, not just the time in bed. I need to talk to someone. I need to know what's going on in my head. I need to talk to him and find out what he's playing at. More news tomorrow!
x
