It seems the advice 'be yourself' actually holds some water! I did just that last night, and managed to pull 4 guys (in a gay bar!) who were all very aware that I was a girl, before you ask =P I checked! =P but yeah! Turns out when I make no effort, I'm actually attractive! Or maybe everyone was just very drunk... I prefer the other explanation! =P
So yeah, that's put me in a rather epic mood for the last day! =D But it's got me down a little cos my best mate and my housemate might be breaking up tonight. Yeah, awkward, cos I love him to bits, but I live with her, so it'll be fun... Yeah... It won't bring me down though, hell no!
It doesn't affect me directly, things are all good, I'm feeling pretty damn confident, it's all good right now! =D
Anyway, time to watch (or attempt to watch) a movie and get some sleep. Long day ahead of me! =P Good times, and all that jazz! =D
Much love to all!!!! xxxxxx
]]>I still feel a bit shit. Ok, very shit. I don't feel as left out as I used to. I've been talking to my mates a lot more recently, and they understand how I feel and are helping me along. They realised that all the time they spent with their partners not only made me feel incredibly useless, ugly and relationship-unworthy, but made me feel like I was sitting on the outer circle of our friends circle despite them raving on about how I 'got them together, am the glue holding the group together' and so on. They're helping as best as they can. But the problem seems to be a lot more deep seated than I thought... It feels like I can't bear to be alone. All my friends - bar 2, who live too far away to spend much time with - are in relationships. And it still means I'm often left alone.
I used to love spending time on my own, just thinking and getting myself sorted. But it feels like I can't do that anymore. Every time I'm alone nowadays, I feel like shit, and can't get myself out of this hideous rut, getting me really low and often breaking down. But I don't entirely get why! I mean, things with my friends are better than ever, things at home are great (I'm actually CHOOSING to spend the weekend with the family!), uni is going fine, I'm comfortable financially. Things are going well EVERYWHERE apart from love life.
This is where the taboo topic comes in... I've been going on websites to find just casual hook-ups. I've met 1 guy so far, and am thinking about a couple of more guys... What makes it worse is that the one guy I like has made it clear he wants nothing more than a bit of casual fun. Which is fine, seeing as that's what I signed up for (Literally!), but it does hurt that yet again, someone I like just isn't interested.
Talking to guys I like who aren't interested, lets go to my mate, W. Now, I really - and I mean REALLY - liked him. But that went down hill. He was giving signs and all, and I thought oo this could go somewhere! But then it turns out he wasn't interested. And not just that, he asked me about my housemate. Which then pissed me off and made me shout at my housemate, who happens to be a brilliant friend of mine. So that fucked me over. Majorly. And things are just getting on top of me in that department - and not in a good way. There's too much to talk about right now. It's late. I'm tired. And I'm on the verge of tears, anyway. So while this will be the end of this post, fear not. There will be many, MANY more posts to come in the next few weeks. I've got a lot to rant about. And it'll just keep coming...
So ciao for now, my long lost friends! It feels good to be back. Rant over. For now.
]]>It just sucks right now. I have a few minutes so I'll write a quick post. I've just had a lot of stuff bubbling at the surface recently. But I've been trying not to let it out until after my exams because I didn't want it to affect my exams. So my exams finished last week and since that night, there's been one thing after the other with my friends and everyone's been trying to sort them out so I've been keeping it all inside trying to wait until things had calmed down a little and I could talk to someone without burdening them with my own problems on top of their own and others.
It's been stupid stuff, like Dickhead's been on my mind a lot. It's just been stuff like feeling quite stupid about what happened and how I reacted. For example, the last time I had a few too many drinks, I had a major breakdown in front of my local pub and started shouting about how I had to talk to him and shouting at people to get him to talk to me and then started crying to him about how I missed him and needed him in my life and, in a small part, missed the sex and how I still feel torn between him and others who could give me what I want just because I fell for him. It's just that I met this guy recently through a friend, and I like him but I couldn't bring myself to make a move even though it was evident that he liked me as well because I had dickhead running through my head and just kept thinking about how I wanted to be with him. It's made me hate him a little more but it's still far from over. I still have to deal with knowing him. Seeing him most of the times that I go out. Seeing him walking past my house, or just driving past, when I look out of the window and it's just still getting to me.
But aside from him, I'm starting to worry about university as well. It's like, will I even pass the simplest year of my university life because right now it feels like I won't and it's just getting to me. I've already failed one module and I'm scared I've failed at least two more this time, and I know the first year results don't count towards the final degree but if I'm failing the first year, how the hell am I going to pass later years? It just makes no sense.
And then there's money. Always a problem. I've had to pay ridiculous bills and have no money left so I'm scrounging money off my parents which is ok but I'd really rather not do it. It's not something that makes me happy. And that's then making things with my family awkward because I'm not happy about it so sound low almost every time I speak to them so they're constantly worried and calling to ask if I'm ok and I can't talk to my family about this so it's just making me feel worse because I want to talk about things but can't. It's all a bit sucky.
Thing is, things aren't even that bad right now. It's just that I can't talk about them and that there's so much going on with my friends and it's getting to me so it's a bit shitty right now. I'm just having a few problems dealing with all this. It's not something I'm enjoying. I'll write a longer post soon with details of everything. Quite possibly tonight itself, depending on when people go to sleep. But knowing me right now, considering I've been crying and will carry on doing so in the shower right now will lead to me falling asleep as soon as I hit the pillow. Well, sofa cushion.
Ciao.
]]>I've spent the last 3 days with the same group of friends. At first, we were all ok. Fine, having a laugh. Then, one breaks down because she likes a guy in our circle of friends who doesn't like her. But it seems like she's dealing with it so we help her along but it doesn't look like it's going too badly. So we just say we're here when she needs us and leave it as we don't want to push her. The next day, another friend breaks up with her boyfriend of 2 years and is a wreck so we spend ages consoling her and looking after her. All this time, the first friend seems ok. Then just around half an hour ago, she disappears. We were all walking around and doing different things so no one noticed. Now we have noticed and no one knows where the hell she is. So we try calling her, we try texting her, she doesn't answer her calls and the only reply we get is that she's ok and on her own. But at this time of the night? In this area? What the fuck is she thinking? Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and I appreciate that everyone has their own things to deal with but seriously? Why flip right now? We were all getting along just fine. She had told me she wants to talk to me alone tonight but we hadn't got the chance so it hasn't happened because we've been surrounded by people and now this. I just don't know what to think. Two of my friends have gone out looking for her but she could be anywhere. This is fucking ridiculous.
What I don't get is whether she's being attention seeking or what. What the fuck is going on? Just when I thought we were all getting along fine and that past things had left no awkward feelings, this goes and happens. Why? Yes, the guy she likes is here but she's been fine so far. Hell, we were al bundled in a make shift bed on the floor last night, everyone being cuddly and all. It just makes no sense why she's doing this. She's the one who invited us round to hers. She's the one who decided to have this night. And yet she's gone and wandered off alone. Why?
it makes no sense to me. I'm hoping we get her back in one piece and all ok but I have no idea right now. I'm worried sick. I don't know what's happening. I want to know what the fuck is going on! But she won't say anything. I'm sorry, this might be selfish but I'm dealing with my own things right now. I can't bear the idea of losing a close friend right now. And especially not because she decided to wander off on her own without telling anyone anything or answering her phone. Fucking ridiculous. Is it too much to ask to find out what's happening? It's past midnight, we're not in the safest area.
Ok so my two friends are back. And now, it turns out one of the knows where she is but she doesn't want anyone else to know. And we still don't know what the fuck is going on. It's fucking ridiculous. I've lost people because they've wandered off alone. This is one thing I can't deal with. I'm not losing another friend like this. Is it my fault? She said she wanted to talk to me. Is it because I didn't talk to her when she got back? I've already lost two people cos they've wandered off alone. And now, apparently she's ok but I can't be sure until she's back and it's pissing me off. It's bringing it back. Very few things scare me. But losing friends like this does. I just hope she gets back soon.
]]>I was going to write a long post right now but I'm sleepy so I will write it when I get back to my lovely room and post it when I get on the internet next!
Love ye alls!
Ciao xxx
]]>Anyway, yeah. It should be a good day! I'll get some pictures for ya'll to see cos I will look GORGEOUS! =D
Now, I'm going to go get some food because I haven't eaten (as always) and am hungry now. And since I'm going to be drinking a LOT and getting no sleep for the next 3 days, I think I need to eat a good meal. Me thinks sausages, mash and peas with onion gravy again! =D
Ciao!!
x
]]>I went home for the weekend. It was ok. The highlights were that my dad got me a new phone which is absolutely brilliant. It's a chinese make. It's tiny and it's got a strap so I can wear it like a watch =P it made me happy. and we went to harvesters for a meal. the down points were seeing my family. spending time with my family. oh, and going home. and now my mother has decided that she will have her birthday do the weekend I was gonna have a house party for my own birthday at university. and she refuses to change the date. so I've had to change my plans. aint she lovely! I'd already made my plans before she fucking decided yet I'm the one who has to change everything. asking her to plan it around my own plans would just be asking too much now, wouldn't it?
S... he's been there a bit. I've had a few rants around him. and we had an amazing - and I mean AMAZING - night recently. Apparently, I look like a goddess. Who'd have thought that? I certainly didn't! But who am I to complain, eh? =P that cheered me up. And while we were enjoying each others' company, as it were, he had this look in his eye that I hadn't seen before and it kinda scared me a little, to be honest. I don't know what to make of it. It just confused me. And I have no clue what it meant. But it doesn't matter. It was a good night =P
I've been going out a little this week. But I've spent a long time by myself in my room which hasn't been ideal. I've had these thoughts going through my head and don't know what to make of them, either. I'm just lost. I can't decide what I want. I don't know what's going on with my friends or my family or anything. And it's infuriating at times. I've spent too long in my own company now. I need to be around people but eveyone has their own plans and I can't be the person to invite myself along. It's just not me.
Anyway, there's not really a lot to talk about. I got sexy new glasses. I look good. =P
Anyway, I'm going to go get the bus back to mine and spend yet more time alone. Fun times! I'm gonna see if S is busy. I could do with company tonight. And no, not just the time in bed. I need to talk to someone. I need to know what's going on in my head. I need to talk to him and find out what he's playing at. More news tomorrow!
x
]]>He's being a bit of a wanker, I'll admit but still =( Why do I always seem to go for guys that are bad for me? Or fuck me about? Or are unavailable? Or all of them?! I'm not a bad person, in my own opinion. Yes, I have my flaws but find me one person who's perfect and I'll cut my own legs off! Who doesn't have flaws? Our flaws are what makes us individuals!
But I still seem to find the wrong guys... Maybe it's just the thing right now. Maybe I'll find someone eventually and I'll have a good life. Then, I might be able to look back at all this and decide it was all worth it in the end. I'm on the train to Happiness but I can't change the fact that it has to stop in Disasterville or Heartbreak City! It's all part of the journey, honey!
Ok, I'm going to go now. Just needed that quick rant. I am going to go and... well, vegetate somewhere else. Possibly go enjoy a few cancer sticks while I wait for my friend to come back from her lecture. We're having a girly night! =D
]]>But he's flaky as fuck! It's getting on my nerves. I can't say anything now cos we're not in a relationship but if we do ever get there and he's as flaky as he is now, it won't last long. I don't like it when people make plans then cancel because of whatever reason unless it's important. Like I was planning on cooking last night just cos I could (I'd gone food shopping so I had all the ingredients =P ) and he was like yeah cool. He'll come over after he's been to the gym. But then just before he was meant to come round, he says some friends have asked him out for a drink instead so can we do it tomorrow instead.
Obviously, being lovely as I am, I said sure and didn't kick up a fuss but FOR FUCKS SAKE!
And it's pissing me off cos he keeps sending such mixed messages! One day, he's saying he wants more. The next, he can't do the emotional thing. One day he doesn't care if people know. The next, he wants it kept secret. The list goes on. And on. And on. AGH! Guys drive me insane. Maybe I should just answer the lesbian calling and find myself a lovely girlfriend. Girls are so much easier to deal with!
What really sucks is that I really like this guy and I'm willing - yes, very happily willing! - to wait for him. But it's driving me crazy at the same time!
Why are matters of the heart so fucking complicated? It's ridiculous, I tell you! We should just give up on words and live according to the id. Fuck the rest. Emotions, words and the like just confuse life! =(
]]>So it's official. Little ol' me is in a relationship, of sorts! And when I came into uni today, I had people ask why I was so happy. We spent last night just cuddling and being all cutesy. It was nice =) I gave him a kiss goodbye this morning when he went back to his flat and I went to the bus stop to come to uni and it was so nice. I forgot how nice a relationship can feel.
But he wears socks to bed. That's a little annoying. But I can deal with that =P Speaking of whom, he's just text me. Saying we need to talk about what we want/expect. He wants to talk! Since when do guys wanna talk? This is brilliant! =D
I'm happy =) This is incredible. He's such a brilliant guy. And we click on so many levels. And he mentioned this before the talk, but it's quite crazy but we've become really close cos of the whole sex thing. It's cos we'd talk afterwards and just talk which wouldn't have happened if we hadn't slept together. It's crazy... But it's so nice! =) I'm happy! =D
Anyway, I have to go. I have my last exam in just over an hour and I need to get my notes in order. (It's open book =P ACE! =P )
Ciao, lovelies! =D
]]>Life at uni... It's a ball, to say the least. I haven't had this much fun, or been this happy genuinely, in as long as I can remember. It's amazing to be able to smile a genuine smile, to laugh and mean it, to go out and really enjoy MY life.
I've made some lovely friends here. People I really do love. There are a few people who really are grinding on my nerves but there will always be those people.
Lets talk about one. Lets call him M. Now, me and M ended up having a no strings attached thing going for about two months after a very drunk night and an appetite built up over 11 months. But to be fair, he is not a brilliant guy. Don't get me wrong, he is a nice guy but he bullshits so much. He seems to have some self esteeem issues. He seems to think he can lie about shit that is very obviously not true and the problem then is that everyone humours him because he's a nice guy and no one can say anything! And he's not exactly a great looking guy either, which, yes, is shallow of me and I should look in the mirror and blah blah blah but I've realised all things considered, there's obviously something about me that guys like because I have managed to find another guy who is absolutely GORGEOUS and it's still no strings attached but I'm thinking of making a move at some point cos he's a brilliant guy.
I need a guy who'll listen to me ranting and he himself has said he's one of 'lifes listeners' and is always trying to get me to talk to him but I'm still very wary of talking about some of the things so I keep saying no but it's there. And it's nice. And we talk. And there's no bullshit.
M was really grinding on my nerves so I'm trying to avoid him until he realises things are over because I don't want to say anything. I'm really good friends with him housemates (to the point where I refer to them as 'The Girls' I spend my girly nights with. It's brilliant! =D ) and so I don't want things to be awkward. But they've told me he likes me and wants something more than the no strings thing which is another reason to back off because he's a nice guy but his bullshitting really gets on my nerves. I put up with it long enough. I am NOT dealing with that in a relationship.
S (the new guy) is brilliant, though. We have amazing sex and then we talk. And he's a cuddly sleeper! =D That makes me very happy.
I'm just scared of making a move in case he's not interested in more and then I'll just fuck up a perfectly good friendship and the sex is amazing so don't wanna lose that either =P Yes, I know. I sound like such a slut. But I'm enjoying myself. And I've learnt that as long as I'm happy, that's all that matters. And I'm very happy. It makes a nice change.
My course mates here are brilliant. I get on with them so well. There are a couple of guys who I'm wary of but the other 7 are BRILLIANT! I do love my little group here. We've been getting together every morning before our exam, sitting in the same place in the library and revising while having a laugh and just trying to calm each other down when one gets stressed. It's a good relationship we've got. We really are like one bit married couple, if that makes sense =P It's our way of describing ourselves. It's brilliant. And cos we had all gone home for new years, we didn't have a celebration. And now we're back, we have exams. But we have next week off so we're getting together and having our own new years celebration. It should be fun! =D I can't wait! =D
And I'm going to Wagamamas (*drools at the thought of it*) on Friday with my girls. The girls. I love them! =D We're having a girly day after my last exam. And I'm trying to convince them to come out Friday night cos I really wanna go out and dance my arse off! =P
Wait, no. Not going into town on Friday night. A friend living on the campus near me is having a party at his on Friday night so me and one of the girls is definitely going there! Might convince the other two girls to do that. It'll be cheaper and I still get to dance my ass off! And it's easier to get home after that. No need to pay for a cab! I can just walk the 10 minutes from his flat to my house!
Speaking of house, my housemates are the most amazing people EVER! =D I'm going to miss them all next year. I know I don't spend that much time with them but whenever I do, it's just such a laugh! They're hilarious!
Anyway, I'm going to go now because I'm going to go back to mine, sleep for a couple of hours, then get ready and get completely and utterly wankered tonight! =D I hear tequila beckoning me! =D And ale. Oh, the ale! Good thing my student loan came through on Monday =P Good times! =D
Ciao! x
]]>Adios! x
]]>He was all comforting and huggy and all. It was nice. I took friday off university cos I couldn't face people. I was still climbing up from the low and I just needed to be alone so I went back to mine at some point in the afternoon for a shower and all and just collected myself. I went back over to my friend's house in the evening. The girls were home and I thought the guys would be back (He was getting a tattoo done on his arm. Gorgeous looking bear. It's all Celtic-y and brilliant!) but they didn't get back until 11 and then, extremely pissed. Which was hilarious.
But the tattoo was awesome. Anyway, everyone stayed in that night. On Saturday, I was supposed to go to a club with one of the girls cos there was a good DJ playing there. But she had some family crisis to deal with so had to go home. Instead, he decided he was up for going out and we were gonna meet some people there so it was gonna be a good night.
Except the person who'd actually told us about the night cancelled and we couldn't find anyone there so we went back to the house about half past 1. Still a good night but not as good as I hoped. Then, coming down the stairs in their house, I missed a step and my ankle did a full 180 the wrong way and is now twice the size it should be. Fun times.
So Sunday was spent sitting on one of the chairs in their house until I could work up the strength to walk home and I did that eventually. In the rain. Without anything to support my ankle. It was fun. Fortunately I live close by so I was home soon and got dry and all.
Today, I had to come in for an assessed practical for psychology that I missed last week cos I was too lazy to get out of bed (hey, at least I'm honest!). And my sister texts me half way through it asking me to get her my oyster card cos she's going home for a few days. I'm sorry but I am NOT waiting half an hour for the bus, limping home, getting the card, waiting another half an hour, giving her the card and then waiting another half an hour to go home again!
But apparently my other sister had told her to use the card cos it had money on it and it would be stupid to spend more money. But she had known she was going home for days so why does she leave it until the day she's leaving to ask me for it? She claims she tried calling me yesterday but I had no reception. I can believe that. I had crap reception in my house. But why couldn't she text me, like she did this morning?! Stupid, stupid girl!
So I call my other sister and explain what's happening so she doesn't through a hissy about me not getting the card for her. She gets pissy but then calls again a few minutes later and apologises so all's well. So I explain this to my sister here and she finally agrees. But not after pissing me off majorly and the whole family drama situation. You all know what I'm on about. You've heard enough in the past! =P
Anyway, it's just been a bit hectic. I have assessments due in the next two weeks that I've been putting off for a while so I really should go and do them which involves going home to get my books so I'm not off. I also need to buy some food because recently, my diet has been kebab shop food once every two days, lots of healthy coca cola and tobacco. Healthy me, eh?
I'm off. Rant over. For now.
Ciao x
]]>I've finally come back to uni. And it's been good. I had a practical today. It was pretty damn boring but I got to annoy people which is always fun. anyway, this is gonna be a short post because I have work to do and then have to - yes, HAVE to - go for a few drinks with some friends =P
Ciao!
xx
]]>2. How often do you wank?
*posh accent* =O females do not 'wank'! And if we did, it depends on the day. =P
3. Where do you wish you were right now?
With my university friends. It sucks being here again!
4. Were you in love with the first person you slept with?
Yes. Or at least who I thought he was...
5. Do you have any guilt inside of you?
No. Not anymore, anyway.
6. Have you ever wished anyone dead, however brief?
Yes, far too often.
7. Assuming you HAD to be, would you rather be a colour, smell or sound?
I would be the mixture of all colours. In other words, white. =P
8. How and when do you imagine you are going to die?
Oddly enough, I think I'm gonna get shot =S
9. Do you think love is forever?
Yes, but then only true love. Unfortunately, the word 'love' is used far too often...
10. What is your worst fear for your future?
Being in debt =( and it'll happen. I've just started uni! =(
11. Do you LOVE anything about yourself? If so, what is it?
I love... my new found independence. And my shoe collection! =P
12. Would you lie if you KNEW you could never get caught?
Yes, done it a few times... *looks away*
13. Could you have sex knowing someone could hear you?
*cough* Apparently so...
14. What, if anything, do you do to make people do what you want?
Poke incessantly, use sing song voice and pout. And if that fails, I'd do it myself but generally inflict some pain on them =D
15. How many times, if any, have you lied answering these questions?
None! =D
And I had taken the dog for a few walks today and I'd been cleaning the house and entertaining everyone. And I've had a few drinks so I'm pretty much dead right now. And I'm still recovering from Freshers Flu!
The bottle tops. Let me explain. My sister's friend is taking part in a scheme where, if you collect bottles tops that weigh as much as a wheel chair, you can get one for free for someone who needs it and is getting one for her friend. So we're all helping collect bottle caps. And they can only be plastic bottle caps. It's a brilliant scheme cos you never realise how many containers you use that have plastic tops! And instead of chucking them away, they go to some use! So it's pretty cool. I've got everyone I know collecting them too =P
And I'm a bit bummed, too. One of my friends who came around today, well, I like him. And another friend had mentioned that she is pretty sure he likes me too, so I was like 'I'll say something tonight!' And as I was still thinking about it, it came out that he actually liked another friend of mine, who was also around tonight. So they got together after the little secret came out and, well, it was quite blah seeing them get close cos I quite like him too. For once, I liked a guy who was not a complete introvert or a complete cock! But no, it can't be.
A part of me actually thinks it's impossible for me to find a decent guy. Seriously, any guy I fall for is either ridiculously shy, or possessive, or couldn't care less about a relationship and just wants the sex, or is emotionally unstable, or a fucktard in another way! And if I ever do make the mistake of falling for a decent guy, he's either not interested, or already taken, or likes me 'just as a friend', or likes someone else, or whatever other fucked up reason they can come up with! I might just look for a girlfriend instead. I've got a few offers already, and they're lovely girls whom I get along with beautifully! And aren't any of the above!
Ugh why are matters of the heart so complicated? Is it really asking too much to find a guy who's DECENT? Meh, I might as well embrace my lesbian side and forget this guy business. I'm already half way there, sexuality wise! Might as well go all the way!
Oh, and another thing. I've got the nagging feeling that my bit on the side guy has recently, literally a week after we started this no strings business, realised that he is gay because he seems to have gone very cold since. Ok, I admit. It's only been two weeks. But one week, it's all amazing and THERE and the next, he's just not interested! Maybe I'm just bad in bed... Nah, can't be that one! =P
To be fair, he had told his house mate, who is the girl I'd first started talking to and met him through, that he was hoping I'd come round to theirs' again. But then, when I do, we go out to a gay bar (cos it was £10 entry and drink the bar dry =P ) and then he's all... well, not there! Meh... I just have bad luck with guys, be it relationship or no strings...
Agh I have to stop complaining! Jeez! Lets see what's good in life right now. I'm away from home (most of the time!), I've got my own life, I have a new group of friends who are actually reliable (!!), I'm studying a course I absolutely love, I'm living with lovely people, I have independence! Life's not all bad. I'm just a complainer. I've realised that. But fuck it. It's who I am. And people still seem to like me so I must be doing something right! =)
Anyway, I think I need to sleep... This bout of complaining might be down to irratibility caused by lack of sleep and excessive amounts of alcohol... Bad insomniac alcoholic! *hits hand*
Night night!
]]>After the old blog was found out, my family started getting really suspicious that I'll start a new one so I had to give it a long breather before I could come back. Which I did. And now, I've decided to just fuck it and get this back up and running! Damn it, I've missed this place!
My A-levels results were far from brilliant. In fact, they were shit. But after getting my results, I spent hours upon hours on the phone, talking to various universities, asking who would offer me psychology or a foundation course. I wasn't going to apply to the uni I go to now simply because another family member is here but I decided to just check at least. And it was terrible. They offered me psychology and forensic science. There was no way in hell I was gonna turn that down! So I'm here now! Well, right now I'm back at the family home for the weekend but you get the picture!
It's quite amazing. In the last three weeks at university, I have made better friends than I had in my six years of high school/ sixth form. They are, put quite simply, the nicest people I have met since moving to England! and university life is perfect for me. Let me give you a few examples of what happens on a day to day basis. Well, on days when I've got early starts, I generally have a long gap of between 3 and 5 hours. so what better way to spend the time than by going to the student union bar? So at 11 a.m. (yes, a.m.) we head to the bar and order... tequila! Have lots of tequila before our practical. Then do the practical. Have an hour to kill before the next lecture so head back to the bar and have more tequila! Then laugh our heads off in the lecture hall (while the lecture is going on...), unable to concentrate so we leave half way through and, yes, you guessed it, head back to the bar for more tequila! Then we go home, get ready and go to a club for more! =P On days I have off, I tend to stay in bed as long as I can and then cook something, get showered and ready and then head over to a friends' house and either get drunk on cheap wine (seriously, a shop near my house sells 5 bottles of quite decent wine for a tenner! Ten quid! For five bottles!) or head into town to go clubbing. Generally, I tend to go to one friends' house. Well, I say one. It's got four people living there and they're all friends of mine now. One a little more special than the others. No, not a relationship but more... how can I say this without sounding like a slut? Ok, I can't so here goes. We... help each other deal with physical needs? yeah... That's about it =P
And naughty me, I've gone back to smoking now... Only, it's more chain smoking than just the occasional one so... Yeah... dirty, dirty smoker, me... =(
I seem to be recovering from my bout of freshers flu. Good times. I've been dying this last week. Seriously, haven't moved from my bed unless my stomach starts crying for food or I desperately need the loo! =P Oh, and the shower. Otherwise I just feel manky.
Err... what else have I been up to? Been talking to my ex again. It's been ok. I've moved on, which is a good thing. It sure took time! But I'm ready to move on now. I needed to talk to him before I could even think about a relationship. Now, I'm in my first year at university and I don't want a relationship. I don't want to be tied down, if that makes sense... I just seem to attract either ridiculously clingy, possessive kinds or the ones who don't make any hint of an effort! So I'm keeping it simple and sticking to physical needs =P Naughty, naughty me... =P
What else... I had blood tests to see if I could give my mum a kidney. Very bad match so that's a no. Bit gutted but meh.
I'll tell you about my friends from university on a later day. Right now, it's bed time. I've been up since 8 because of bloody morning lectures and I've been travelling and I've had friends around who have just left about half an hour ago so I'm going to get some sleep. Nighty night, lovely peoples of the land I have missed! =D
x
]]>This is more of a little note to bring myself back into the life of bcuk.
I'm away from home now, and finally have the freedom I needed. I'm at university. Studying psychology and forensic science. I love this life. It's more than I thought I'd get.
Anyway, I can't write much right now. I need to be heading back home soon so I can pack my bag and head back to the family home. The good news is that no one is home so I get the empty house. I'm going to look after my dog. I've called all my friends over. All that didn't go to university and the few that are coming home ffrom their respective universityt for this weekend as well.
I will be back. Speak to you all then. x
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